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He’ll sue because she didn’t provide a safe working environment.

A would-be thief received more than he bargained for Saturday when a Donalds homeowner gave him an arrest and a trip to the emergency room.

The Abbeville County Sheriff’s Office received a report of a stabbing about 4:30 a.m. Saturday, and when officers arrived at the scene, they found a man staggering in the driveway, bleeding profusely from a wound to his left shoulder, according to police reports.

The man — identified as Locketus Jarvarus Marshall, 23, of 204 Haigler St., Abbeville — passed out, and while Emergency Medical Services took him to Self Regional Medical Center, officers got written statements from the homeowner and a witness, only to arrest Marshall.

According to the homeowner, she had spent the evening in Anderson and returned to see the home completely dark. When she entered, she heard someone moving inside the home and called out, detective Michael Belcher said Monday.
“At that point, (Marshall) grabbed the victim and pushed her up against the kitchen sink. She tried to call 911, but she couldn’t see the numbers, so she called her father, who she had on speed dial,” Belcher said.

The homeowner then felt around in the sink, found a knife and struck Marshall with it in the left shoulder.

“Once she stabbed him, Mr. Marshall ran outside and called 911 to say he’d been stabbed,” Belcher said. “He made the comment he’d gotten a ride to a friend’s house because his car had caught on fire.”

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They should have tasered her and beat her with a phone book and a hose to avoid bruising to teach her a lesson. I kid I kid.

911, what’s your emergency?

Kid voice: My diapers loaded

911: what?

Kid voice: POOP!

911: Who the hell is this? what’s your emergency?

Kid voice: I’m poopy

Authorities tracked down a 4-year-old girl who called 911 nearly 300 times last month by offering to deliver McDonald’s to her suburban Chicago apartment.

Unbeknownst to her mother, the girl used a deactivated cell phone to call dispatchers 287 times in June—sometimes as often as 20 times a shift.

Dispatchers heard the child’s voice but could only track the phone’s signal to the apartment complex.

So authorities used a ruse to pinpoint her.

“We asked (the caller) what she wanted. She said she wanted McDonald’s,” said Steve Cordes, executive director of QuadCom’s emergency center, which covers Carpentersville.

“We talked with her and we convinced her if she told us where she lives, we would bring her McDonald’s,” he said. “She finally gave us her address. So we sent the police over—with no McDonald’s.”

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A groin kick is always a serious injury.

A Big Oak Valley woman is in jail after allegedly threatening her husband with a sword and a loaded shotgun, then kicking a sheriff’s deputy in the groin and shattering a window of a sheriff’s cruiser with her feet.

Cheryl Elizabeth Tohkubbi, 43, was arrested shortly after 2 a.m. Tuesday at the home she shared with her 65-year-old husband on the 23000 block of St. Helena Drive.

Tohkubbi called 911 at 2:05 a.m. to report she needed a bandage and said her husband was “hurting her mentally.”

“When (deputies) got there, she was standing on the front porch, saying ‘Don’t come any closer,’” Nevada County Sheriff Keith Royal said. “She said if they came any closer, she’d get a gun and shoot.”

Deputies circled around the back of the house, then surprised Tohkubbi from behind, he said.

“She kicked one officer in the groin, then kicked the side window of the cruiser out,” Royal said.

Tohkubbi’s husband told officers his wife was acting strangely when he returned home from work several hours prior to the incident, Royal said.

Tohkubbi allegedly told her husband she had cut her leg while chasing a deer.

“He got dressed and was going to take her to the emergency room, but she said no,” Royal said.

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