NeverThat.com

Hell, if he hit him in the head, and I had a daughter, I’d pimp her out to this man as well.

An Egyptian man said on Wednesday he was offering his 20-year-old daughter in marriage to Iraqi journalist Muntazer al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at U.S. President George W. Bush in Baghdad on Sunday,

The daughter, Amal Saad Gumaa, said she agreed with the idea. “This is something that would honor me. I would like to live in Iraq, especially if I were attached to this hero,” she told Reuters by telephone.

Her father, Saad Gumaa, said he had called Dergham, Zaidi’s brother, to tell him of the offer. “I find nothing more valuable than my daughter to offer to him, and I am prepared to provide her with everything needed for marriage,” he added.

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I would say, what a pretty impressive shot. 20 bucks says he could not pull it off again.

Argentine soccer player Gaston Aguirre killed a pigeon with a single shot — right off his foot. “I kicked the ball and, poor pigeon,” the San Lorenzo defender said. “Now I will be remembered as the pigeon killer.”

Aguirre hit the bird in the 2-1 victory against Tigre in a three-team round-robin for the Argentine league title. Surrounded by opponents, he kicked the ball toward the goal and in the direction of a group of pigeons on the grass near the corner.

A burst of feathers followed and the pigeons flew away — except one.

Several players surrounded the wounded bird as it tried to fly away but it collapsed. Referee Saul Laverni then scooped up the dead pigeon and placed it off the field.

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A supermarket is defending itself for refusing to a write out 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell’s name on his birthday cake. Deborah Campbell, 25, of nearby Hunterdon County, N.J., said she phoned in her order last week to the Greenwich ShopRite.

When she told the bakery department she wanted her son’s name spelled out, she was told to talk to a supervisor, who denied the request.

The Campbells ultimately got their cake decorated at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania, Deborah Campbell said Tuesday. The Campbells’ two other children are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who turns 2 in a few months, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, who will be 1 in April.

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I would party with these chicks, they seem pretty cool. The manager was probably just upset because they gave him no play.

A trio of Anderson girls are in hot water with their fast-food employer for dipping themselves into the sink used to clean dishes.

One of the girls bathing in the sink at the Anderson Kentucky Fried Chicken posted the photos on the Internet and after management learned of them, all three were suspended today, said Cheri, assistant manager at the restaurant. She declined to give her last name.

The photos, which appeared to have been posted late last month, showed the girls bathing in the deep commercial sink and posing in their underwear and swimwear.

She said no manager was on duty when the photos were likely taken, when the three girls closed the restaurant themselves. In her more than a year at the store, Cheri said she hadn’t had any incidents similar to this.

The photos had been filed under a gallery called “KFC moments.” Captions for the photos included “haha KFC showers!” and “haha we turned on the jets.”

On her MySpace page, the girl lists herself as a 17-year-old worker at the Anderson KFC.

“I’m a KFC worker, they are my best friends and my family,” she said on her site.

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I would have knocked her head off….

AN Unley woman set fire to her husband’s genitals while he slept, leaving him with burns to 85 percent of his body, prosecutors will allege.

Rajini Narayan, 44, appeared briefly in Adelaide Magistrates Court this afternoon charged over the fire at her family’s two-storey home on Cleland Ave at about 5.30am yesterday.

The fire left Satish Narayan with terrible burns and prosecutor Senior Sergeant Bruce Faehrmann said the injuries could prove fatal.

“(Mr Narayan) was set on fire … his condition has deteriorated to the extent that he has 85 percent burns,” he said.

“It is possible that he may not survive so the charges may be reviewed.”

The Advertiser understands that police will allege Narayan applied methylated spirits to her husband’s genitals as he slept then set fire to him.

Mr Narayan is believed to have knocked over the bottle of methylated spirits as he rose from the bed, sparking the major blaze.

Narayan is charged with one count of aggravated causing harm with intent, arson and three counts of acts to endanger life.

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The 11 year old just wanted to be accepted into his favorite gang.

As Joan Hicks watched television in her basement Friday morning, the two grandsons left in her care when her daughter went to prison found a gun and decided to play a game they called “Gangster.”

The pop of the .25-caliber handgun sent Hicks racing upstairs at 9:10 a.m. where she found the 8-year-old boy bleeding from a gunshot wound to his side. His 11-year-old brother had shot him, police said.

The boys found the gun in Hicks’ car but family members said it was not hers. It belonged to the boys’ aunt, they said, and it was unclear why it was in the car or how the boys found it.

Officers arrested the older boy for felonious assault. He was held at the Juvenile Detention Center. Hicks faces a charge of failing to secure a deadly weapon, police said. Cops seized two other .45-caliber handguns from the home.

Hicks took custody of the boys after their mother, Kimmie Hicks, was sentenced to four years in prison last month for beating the boys with an ax handle in a grocery-store parking lot.

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It beats sitting at home with your wife waiting to die.

A 60-YEAR-old man who was thrown into the air in celebration at his retirement party died after his colleagues failed to catch him and he fell to the floor.

The case came to light after the man’s wife filed a police complaint against colleagues who threw the man up into the air, accusing them of gross negligence, the Mainichi paper reported on its website.

The man died in September, 10 months after the party attended by around 40 people at an unnamed transport company at an inn in Ritto, near the ancient capital of Kyoto in central Japan.

The fall damaged his neck and backbone, leaving him paralyzed, and he eventually died of blood poisoning, the paper said.

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Why Homey kill Santa??…No once, No twice, Three time, Bitch call me a HO.

They were chanting “Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!” and by they, I mean about 200 people dressed in some version, and in many cases a perverse version, of Santa Claus. They were also playing dodge ball, climbing trees, pounding beers, and generally inciting chaos. The defenseless Benjamin Franklin Memorial quickly became a victim of that chaos when somebody wrote “HO” in white spray paint on the base, then climbed the monument and santafied it.

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Hmm….naked from the waist down, but he said they were only “kissing”, hmm…..

Police arrested Joan Tuckruskye after allegedly finding her in the backseat of a parked car with a 13-year-old boy. Both of them, police said, were partially unclothed… His son attends school with both the alleged victim and suspect’s daughter, and is outraged over charges that Tuckruskye, vice president in charge of fundraising for the school, endangered the welfare of a 13-year-old boy.

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You’d think that step 1 in performing an autopsy would be: Check for a pulse. You know — just in case.

A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy.

Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue, where examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face.

“I woke up because the pain was unbearable,” Camejo said, according to a report on Friday in leading local newspaper El Universal.

His grieving wife turned up at the morgue to identify her husband’s body only to find him moved into a corridor — and alive.

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