NeverThat.com

Phillip Williams doubted whether he was being sold actual crack cocaine, police say. So he approached two uniformed Tampa officers and allegedly asked them to test his crack pipe so he could be sure.

The blindfolded victim apparently recognized the phone’s unique ringtone and said, “Jimmy you are scaring me. If it’s you Jimmy, stop it.” … “The startled attacker ran off, leaving the girl bound and alone in the woods. She managed to free herself and ran home where she reported the attack to her dad, who called police.

He locked her in an upstairs bedroom where she used a bucket as a toilet. He brought her water and food – mostly peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She was allowed to watch television and listen to the radio, but only with headphones so his parents wouldn’t hear. She tiptoed around the room. Hose made her memorize which floorboards creaked.

Martha Mata Vasquez, 39, of the Salinas area, is accused of injecting cooking oil into the buttocks of Olivia Castillo, 46, causing her death on Nov. 24, 2005

Perhaps the most outlandish of all Aichi’s flesh festivals, however, takes place each March 15 in the city of Inuyama. It’s the Onnagata fertility festival, one of the few in the Japan to deify the female genitalia — an extremely rare feat in a land where other graphic depictions of the same object are usually treated with Orwellian standards of censorship.

A 14-year-old central Toledo girl told police she was abducted at gunpoint yesterday by a man seeking sex, but escaped after she hit him in the groin area with a hammer she found under his car seat.” … “That was good thinking on her part,” Sgt. Richard Murphy said of the victim.

James Jude McCarthy, formerly known as children’s entertainer Jazzbo the Clown, withdrew a guilty plea Tuesday on five counts of driving under the influence, according to court papers.” … “[Police] said [Jazzbo] threw his [ex-girlfriend] out of a moving vehicle and then beat her at her residence May 13, 2005.” … “Additional charges of burglary and reckless endangerment were dropped at his sentencing in January and a charge of simple assault was previously thrown out at a preliminary hearing. Police said cocaine was found in [Jazzbo's] system and his blood-alcohol level was 0.095 percent.

Signs warning of bird droppings were posted along a stretch in downtown Orlando this week after cars, benches, sidewalks, plants and even people are hit and covered by the white bird waste, according to a Local 6 News report.

The problem began when city workers removed cypress trees on “bird island” at Lake Eola in Orlando.

The trees had to be removed because the bird droppings were polluting the water, according to the report.

A student at a Richmond, Virginia high school faces assault charges for beating a girl repeatedly in the school hallway. Amazingly the fight was caught on a camera phone and posted on www.myspace.com! One blogger wrote “I love this. I don`t know what she did to get it, but she deserves it.” Another said “That was a good fight.” Some of the postings criticize the girl for not using her fists. One even reads “We don`t see no blood.